Life Lately

It has been a long time since I’ve been on here.  I’m writing this one for a few of the people I love most on this earth and mostly to tell you what God is doing in my heart. 

I write this one with tear-filled eyes and a heavy heart. I write this one with anger but also fierce, fierce love. 

Some people I care deeply for are hurting. And not hurting like ‘I had a bad day at work’ but rather experiencing deep sorrow and pain. Oh my goodness, if I could take it all away for them, I would. But I do know there is a plan, a bigger plan than I can even comprehend right now. God knows, I don’t, and I have to be still and rest only in that. He is making something beautiful out of these ashes. He is creating a masterpiece out of His saints. He is chipping away at the bad to make us look more like Him, if we let Him. This process is so painful. But I’m clinging so tightly to His promises, because He has proven faithful.

If I’m being totally transparent, I’ve really been battling with what “church” looks like over the last 6 months. I’ve been wrestling with what God says about church. Unfortunately, I don’t think we always do it really well (because we are flawed, human sinners). Church isn’t going through the motions. It isn’t checking the boxes. It isn’t fulfilling obligations like sometimes we make it out to be. It means really being in the trenches. It means really being with people in their time of need. It means loving and loving and loving others. It means carrying the burdens of those hurting. It is true community and fellowship. It’s so much more than 4 walls and a message on Sunday morning. It is relentlessly pursuing after Jesus, sharing the Good News with lost souls, and following after Him in fellowship with a body of believers. God’s people are the Church and we should represent Him well. I have been very fortunate to do life with people who do church very well - people who would drop anything for others, give of their time, money and service to really be there for me or for the people I even love. {{Hear me when I say, I totally believe in being involved in a local church. I do believe in making sure that the church you belong to also believes in Jesus’ true mission and calling for His saints. Josh and I have fallen in love with Harvest Indy South, and if you ever wanted to come with us, we would totally save you a seat.}}

We’ve been working our way through Acts at Harvest for a while now, and I have been very convicted. How well am I really loving others? Would I really always be willing to stop my little world to be there for someone who needs it? Am I willing to tell others about Jesus even if it means making things uncomfortable or just being straight up ridiculed (which has happened before)? Am I willing to get out of my bubble? I am a fixer by nature, but I have learned that I cannot fix everything. In fact, I rarely can. BUT I believe in a God who can and does every single day. And I know He calls me to carry the burdens of those around me. Carry. Hmmm. I don’t know if you’ve ever moved before but carrying can be simple at times or it can be difficult. God calls me to carry even the heaviest of burdens for His name, so that others will see Him and so that these people will know they are loved. 


I just keep thinking, what if we all lived like this? What if we lived what Acts 2:42-47 says?  My heart literally swells with joy. Tonight my prayer is for the people who are carrying the heaviest of heartaches. You are so loved. 

Comments

  1. UnknownSeptember 11, 2018 at 5:40 AM

    I REALLY needed this today!!! Thank you for sharing it with me! My struggles are fierce but I KNOW God will continue to lead me and comfort me!! Love & miss you & your family!!

    ReplyDelete

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