Broken, Blessed, and Made New

  I’m writing all of this down, because I don’t want to forget a thing. And I wouldn’t be me if there wasn’t something written regarding reflection, introspection, and gratitude.   I continually feel so blessed in my life, and my 30th birthday celebrations were no exception.  Every single person I’m close to in my life made me feel so unbelievably loved. Josh’s family planned a birthday celebration and we went down to celebrate with them. We shopped, walked, ate yummy food, and played penny poker.  My mom planned 30 days of surprises leading up to my birthday. She pretty much drove to my house every day for 30 days, would text me riddles and clues to find the present, and planned out everything to a tee. I seriously don’t know how I got her. She is unreal.  My baby sister also gave me a present a day leading up to my birthday - all of them things I absolutely loved. And she threw in some surprises which was so much fun. But what meant the most to me is she bough...

I came into my marriage with one limitation. I will not do a grown man’s laundry. I hate doing my own, let alone someone else’s. It’s funny how time and conviction can change a person. I held pretty tight to my rule for the first 3 years of our marriage, and then one day, it hit me. I walked into our laundry room and saw a heaping load of dirty clothes in his hamper one Saturday. I thought, “what is wrong with me? It’s laundry.” I think God changed my heart that morning. It may seem silly and little, but He did. That morning I did Josh’s laundry. And I have in all the days that followed.   Why did my heart change?  Because I love my husband. Because I want to serve him and honor him. And I want him to know I appreciate him. Ironically enough, he also hates doing laundry. His love language is acts of service, so if I can communicate love to him by washing and drying his dirty underwear, Lord help me, I’ll do it. Love comes without conditions, and I’m glad I gave up min...

Last night, I got to hang out with 2 of my best friends. We ordered pizza, stayed in, and wore our comfies. It was my favorite kind of evening.   To be quite honest, I haven’t been doing well lately. I’ve felt more down than I have in a while. I’ve been emotional, I’ve been sad, I’ve been more easily angered. Josh and I have argued more than we usually ever do. I don’t know, I just haven’t been myself. I was talking to Jess and Lu about these things. And Jess asked the question, “are you taking care of yourself?” That answer is no.  I’ve been friends with Jess and Lauren since high school. They have seen me make Hillary’s Prom Binder. We maintained a friendship while living half a world away (literally). We’ve picked each other up from 4 AM flights. We’ve gotten revenge piercings. We have stayed up half the night taking personality tests and eating junk food. We’ve cried over a foster care journey. We jumped up and down when LuLu got into law school. We’ve been by...

May 14, 2016. Forever my favorite day. I have lived a lot of wonderful days in my life, but if I could do one on repeat, it would always be the day I became Mrs. Joshua Erkman. I remember everything about our wedding. So many people told me beforehand to soak in all of the moments I could, because it goes by so fast, and that’s exactly what I did. Some of my favorites are these: Getting ready in the morning with my girls, mother-in-law, mom, dad, and cats. Father of the Bride was playing in the background. We were all talking and laughing and relaxing together. I remember Rach doing face swap on Snapchat and us all cracking up. I remember Zoey hopping up on the makeup table and trying to get as many snuggles in as she could. I remember my dad and Olivia sitting on the couch in mom and dad’s basement watching while Arica did my hair. I remember you calling me and everyone gathering around the table, smiling, wondering what you had said.   I remember all of us holding ha...

I really never set out to write these blog entries. All of the sudden, I just have these grand realizations, and then I immediately have to get it down on paper. I’ve been really challenged lately. I’ve been in this crazy season of growth – growth in my marriage, growth in my health, growth in myself, and more importantly, growth in my relationship with Christ. On Friday, I went to get my hair cut and colored which really means I have therapy sessions with Kristen. (Kristen, if you read this, thank you for always letting me vent, cry, and laugh while sitting in your chair). She told me about a book she read called Girl, Wash Your Face. It is very, very popular right now, and most of you have probably heard of it, no less read it yourself. I went to Target, bought some groceries, picked up the book, and came home to start reading it. Mind you, I’m still not all the way through it, but holy smokes, I can’t put it down. If you are a woman, you hear the lies the world says about y...